Once In A Lifetime

Now that this amazing summer is coming to a close, I can’t help but start feeling the usual dread that school is approaching. In the past that meant losing sleep and aggravating assignments, but the older that I get the further I get from that reality. Now it means returning to work, bills, apartment issues and other issues the usual college student faces. What plagues me is that even though I seem stressed out now, the future is destined to be filled with harder work and added responsibility. A high-paying job, a beautiful home, an eventual divergence in paths between being a family woman or a career woman: all of these things will eventually come to the forefront and define the outcome of my life. Just putting this in print is making me dread the future and sends my mind reeling to a very negative place.

I can imagine how this comes off- a teenage pessimist- hardly unique with our generation. And I’m sure that I will look back on these times and laugh about the things that used to intimidate and overwhelm me. But I don’t bring this aspect of our culture up to be a half-empty kind of girl. I bring it up because, with all of these standards of success to measure up to, so with it brings a huge fear of mine. I have this fearful image in my mind that one day I’ll wake up, middle aged and completely settled, and be completely unhappy and unsatisfied with my life. This is a thought that keeps me up at night.

It is because of this that, lately, I have been so drawn to songs about the passage of time. While some songs reinforce these worries, others seem to quench them. One of these songs in particular is the Talking Heads classic “Once in a Lifetime”. This has been a favorite of mine for quite a while, with its fun uplifting beat and David Byrne’s unique and enthusiastic execution. Although the lyrics seem a jumbled mess upon first glance, I actually manage to find substantial meaning and clarity within its lines. I think it is a testament to the brilliance of the Talking Heads that everyone I encounter seems to interpret this song differently. It would be a shame for me to force my interpretations on to the cyber web before people take the time to find insight for themselves. But I would like to say, that the last line in particular seems to strike a chord with me and offer me assurance that the passage of time might just be something to embraced rather than feared.

You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

You may find yourself in another part of the world

You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife

You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by, water flowing underground

Into the blue again after the money’s gone

Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

You may ask yourself, how do I work this?

You may ask yourself, where is that large automobile?

You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house

You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by, water flowing underground

Into the blue again after the money’s gone

Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Same as it ever was

Water dissolving and water removing

There is water at the bottom of the ocean

Remove the water, carry the water

Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by, water flowing underground

Into the blue again after the money’s gone

Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Into the blue again, into the silent water

Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground

Time isn’t holding us, time isn’t after us

Alone again, naturally

As I sift through the various blogs in the universe, I find myself at a crossroads. On the one hand, I find blogs to be entirely self-consuming and narcissistic. People spend countless hours on their keyboards writing out details of their lives or reeling over their various mistakes and triumphs. On the other hand, isn't that kind of the standard for our generation? In a time where we spend more time following the whereabouts of others on facebook, why not invest it in to something more therapeutic? It is for that reason that I have decided to take on the self-healing of having a blog.

As obnoxious as I might sound, I often feel my happiness when I find a song that so perfectly fits my mood. Because of this, I've decided to compile all of my favorite song lyrics. Sometimes they correspond with events in my life, sometimes they remind me of times that have passed, and other times they just take me to a happy place. My hope, although most likely a far fetched one, is that in some way they can comfort others the way they so often comfort me.

So tonight, I leave you with my first post. A classic by Gilbert O' Sullivan entitled, "Alone Again (Naturally)". I take something different from the lyrics every time, but I also tend to find the beauty in the bleak. If you get the chance, you should also look up the song itself. The tune is simple, yet so beautiful and timeless. Enjoy.

In a little while from now, if I'm not feeling any less sour

I promised myself to treat myself and visit a nearby tower,

And climbing to the top, will throw myself off

In an effort to make it clear to whoever what it's like when your shattered

Left standing in the lurch, at a church where people 're saying,

"My God that's tough, she stood him up! no point in us remaining

May as well go home." As I did on my own,

Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday I was cheerful, bright and gay

Looking forward to, but who wouldn't do, the role I was about to play

But as if to knock me down, reality came around

And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt all about God and His mercy

For if He really does exist why did He desert me

In my hour of need? I truly am indeed alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts broken

In the world that can't be mended left unattended

What do we do? What do we do?

Now looking back over the years, and what ever else that appears

I remember I cried when my father died never wishing to have cried the tears

And at sixty-five years old, my mother, God rest her soul,

Couldn't understand, why the only man she had ever loved had been taken

Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken

Despite encouragement from me no words were ever spoken

And when she passed away I cried and cried all day

Alone again, naturally